Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
Having a ball
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What is the 7th pin in bowling called? Mother-In-Law!
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
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