What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
Don’t be a wet noodle – join us!
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.