Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
All punts are highly intended
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Football is one habit I will never kick
Having a ball
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
We’ll have a ball.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
By the seat of one’s punt
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Calm before the score
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
I like your tight end
The huddle is real
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
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