What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
I feel tail great!
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
The huddle is real
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
By the seat of one’s punt
Beauty is only pig skin deep
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Join us for plenty of play action.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Give me some pigskin
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
All punts are highly intended
We’re calling your number.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Having a ball
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Case in punt
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Football is one habit I will never kick
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!