No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
By the seat of one’s punt
I like big punts and I cannot lie
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
The goal nine yards
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
I like your tight end
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Football is one habit I will never kick
I feel tail great!
The calm before the score
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Calm before the score
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Case in punt
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
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