[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Case in punt
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Prepare to be bowled over.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Calm before the score
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
We’re calling your number.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
The goal nine yards
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Having a ball
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Go to BabaMail
