Having a ball
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Football is one habit I will never kick
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
By the seat of one’s punt
Case in punt
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
The huddle is real
Beauty is only pig skin deep
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.