Football PunsJoke Generator

Welcome to FRIDAY Night football - the kind of Football Puns you share with your friends and have a laugh with over a game party!

Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Give me some pigskin
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
By the seat of one’s punt
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
I like your tight end
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
I feel tail great!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
The goal nine yards
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
We’ll have a ball.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Calm before the score
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
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