Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
By the seat of one’s punt
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Prepare to be bowled over.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I feel tail great!
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Give me some pigskin
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
I like your tight end
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Case in punt
We’ll have a ball.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
The huddle is real
Having a ball
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.