Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
All punts are highly intended
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
We’ll have a ball.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
I like your tight end
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Prepare to be bowled over.
We’re calling your number.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Football is one habit I will never kick
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I feel tail great!
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
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