What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.