Baseball PunsJoke Generator

Before stealing base, these Baseball Puns will steal your heart!

Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
How can you tell if an ambidextrous baseball player is bisexual as well?
He swings both ways.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
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