And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
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