How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Go to BabaMail
