What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What do you call a girl who is standing directly in the middle of the court? Annette.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
I like your tight end
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!