Hockey Puns

Slide on over and start laughing at our outrageous Ice Hockey Puns.

If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
What's the sweetest moment in a hockey game? When they're icing the puck.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
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