Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Join us for plenty of play action.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
We’re calling your number.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
The goal nine yards
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
It is ridiculous having a basketball team that lacks a website. Do you mean none of them can string three W’s together?
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
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