I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
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