If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
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