Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
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