I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
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