How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
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