What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
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