A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
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