What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.