What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.