What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.