What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.