Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
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