What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
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