What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
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