What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Water you doing on [date]?
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
The only way athletes can stay cool even in a charged game is by standing near the fans.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
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