The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
It is ridiculous having a basketball team that lacks a website. Do you mean none of them can string three W’s together?
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
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