Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
Get in the swim this summer.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
My moment in the sun.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
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