If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
My moment in the sun.
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
Having a ball
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
I like your tight end
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
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