What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
We’re calling your number.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Case in punt
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
Prepare to be bowled over.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
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