What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
By the seat of one’s punt
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Pardon me if I’m being pool-itically incorrect.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
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