Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
I feel tail great!
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
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