How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
Get in the swim this summer.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
My moment in the sun.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
By the seat of one’s punt
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
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