But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
The goal nine yards
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