Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
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