What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
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