What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
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