Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
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