What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
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