Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
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