What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
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