What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
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