What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
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