What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
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