What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
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