What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
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