What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
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