What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
I made a snap decision to watch football today
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Having a ball
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Prepare to be bowled over.
The calm before the score
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I like your tight end
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
The huddle is real
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
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