Case in punt
The calm before the score
Having a ball
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
We’ll have a ball.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Prepare to be bowled over.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Football is one habit I will never kick
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I like your tight end
We’re calling your number.
The goal nine yards
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Join us for plenty of play action.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.