I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
The huddle is real
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
By the seat of one’s punt
We’ll have a ball.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
I feel tail great!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Case in punt
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Give me some pigskin
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Join us for plenty of play action.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Having a ball
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
We’re calling your number.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Calm before the score
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
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