This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
By the seat of one’s punt
We’re calling your number.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Case in punt
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Football is one habit I will never kick
The huddle is real
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
I feel tail great!
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Give me some pigskin
Having a ball
Calm before the score
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
I like your tight end
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
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