What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Football is one habit I will never kick
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
By the seat of one’s punt
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
I feel tail great!
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
We’re calling your number.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
I like your tight end
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Give me some pigskin
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
The goal nine yards
All punts are highly intended
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
The calm before the score
We’ll have a ball.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Case in punt
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
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