Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Give me some pigskin
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
We’re calling your number.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Football is one habit I will never kick
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Case in punt
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Calm before the score
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Go to BabaMail
