The calm before the score
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Football is one habit I will never kick
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
We’re calling your number.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
All punts are highly intended
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Prepare to be bowled over.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Give me some pigskin
Calm before the score
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Case in punt
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
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