I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
By the seat of one’s punt
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Prepare to be bowled over.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
All punts are highly intended
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
The goal nine yards
We’re calling your number.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Calm before the score
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Case in punt
We’ll have a ball.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Football is one habit I will never kick
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
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