What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Prepare to be bowled over.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Having a ball
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I like your tight end
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
We’ll have a ball.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Calm before the score
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
The calm before the score
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
We’re calling your number.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
I feel tail great!
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
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