What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Go to BabaMail
