Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
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