Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
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