What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
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