Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
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