Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.