What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.