What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
What is the 7th pin in bowling called? Mother-In-Law!
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Poor white splash.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
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