"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
Here’s more proof that I’ve gone off the deep end.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
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