Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
Why do the blondes prefer to have se* instead of bowling?
The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
For instant fun, just add water.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
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