Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
Get in the swim this summer.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What is the 7th pin in bowling called? Mother-In-Law!
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
The only way athletes can stay cool even in a charged game is by standing near the fans.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
If volleyball were easy, they would call it football.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
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