What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
We’ll have a splash-tastic time.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
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