Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
How do volleyball players deliver their messages? Through Air Mail.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
We’re calling your number.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What's the sweetest moment in a hockey game? When they're icing the puck.
Why do the blondes prefer to have se* instead of bowling?
The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
What do you call a girl who is standing directly in the middle of the court? Annette.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
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