Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
The goal nine yards
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Summer is just floating by.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
Why did the golfer need new socks?
Because there was a hole in one.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
If volleyball were easy, they would call it football.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Give me some pigskin
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
Get in the swim this summer.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
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