I feel tail great!
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
This summer is going swimmingly.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
The dog didn’t want to play soccer because it was a boxer.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
Summer is just floating by.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
If volleyball were easy, they would call it football.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
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