What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Calm before the score
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
Prepare to be bowled over.
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
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