What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
Where do spiders play football?
Webley Stadium.
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
What do you get if you cross a ski instructor and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
Calm before the score
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
The calm before the score
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
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