Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
Why did the volleyball player have ropes and shoe strings? They wanted to tie the score.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
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