Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
We’re calling your number.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
The huddle is real
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
Water you doing on [date]?
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Calm before the score
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
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