Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
Calm before the score
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
Get in the swim this summer.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
For instant fun, just add water.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
The dog didn’t want to play soccer because it was a boxer.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
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