How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
The calm before the score
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I feel tail great!
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
This summer is going swimmingly.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
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