Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
By the seat of one’s punt
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
The goal nine yards
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
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