Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
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