What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
I feel tail great!
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
The goal nine yards
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
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