[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
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