I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
We like rough sets. As long as you practice safe sets, there isn’t a problem.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
My moment in the sun.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
Don’t be a wet noodle – join us!
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
Pardon me if I’m being pool-itically incorrect.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Why did the golfer need new socks?
Because there was a hole in one.
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