The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
How do volleyball players deliver their messages? Through Air Mail.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
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