Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
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