Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
Where is a basketball player's favorite place to eat?
Dunkin' Donuts
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Get in the swim this summer.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
Having a ball
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
What happens if you run in front of a car?
You get tired.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
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