Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Pack your trunks – we’re having a pool party!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Get in the swim this summer.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
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