I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
This summer is going swimmingly.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
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